Are You Ready for Some Curling?
Feb 24, 2010
Because I’m a sports addict, I spend most evenings and my entire weekends watching ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN U, ESPN Classic, Fox Sports, Fox Sports South, Fox Sports North, Fox Sports Tennessee, Fox Sports Eastern Montana, the NFL Network, the SEC Network, the MLB Network, and the 24 hour-a-day Lacrosse Channel. I will watch ... Read more »
Note to Tiger: Litigation Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry
Feb 18, 2010
According to news reports, Tiger Woods is about to have a press conference so he can publicly apologize for certain transgressions. I think this is a bad idea for two reasons. First, insofar as I know, the only person Tiger needs to apologize to is his wife. (Well, maybe he should apologize to Phil Mickelson for ... Read more »
Move Over, Vancouver! Make Way for the Memphis Winter Olympics!
Feb 11, 2010
We Memphians see snow about as often as we see Halley’s Comet. But when we do get a little snow here in River City, we make the most of it. Read more »
Any Country That Can’t Put a Man on The Moon . . .
Feb 3, 2010
It has been said that every American over the age of fifty can tell you exactly where they were at three moments in their life. First, they remember where they were on September 11, 2001, when they heard that terrorists had attacked the World Trade Center. Read more »
Remembering Friday Nights with Johnny
Jan 22, 2010
Nearly fifty years ago when I was a little boy growing in suburban Memphis, my favorite night of the week was Friday. That was the night Mom and Dad let me stay up late with my buddy Johnny. Johnny was Johnny Carson, host of the Tonight Show which came on Channel 5 in Memphis at 10:30 p.m. When I was ten years ... Read more »
Kiffin and Calipari: The Evil Twins of the NCAA
Jan 14, 2010
I am convinced that University of Kentucky head basketball coach John Calipari and University of Tennessee . . . excuse me, I mean University of Southern California head football coach Lane Kiffin are evil twins who were separated at birth. Along with Ed Orgeron, they may even be evil triplets. Read more »
Holiday Season Over, Diet Season Begins
Jan 6, 2010
Our family Christmas tree now rests by our mailbox at the edge of the driveway. Later this week it will be picked up by the city sanitation crew and given an honorable burial. Read more »
Remembering New Year’s Eve With Ben and Guy
Dec 31, 2009
Tonight, millions of otherwise-sensible Americans will leave their warm, safe homes, gather in public squares or at restaurants or night clubs, and put on funny hats. At approximately ten seconds to midnight, they will start counting backwards like mission control before a space shuttle launch. ... Read more »
Christmas Past
Dec 22, 2009
My wife is a fabulous cook. She learned from her mother, who is also a fabulous cook. In fact, according to an impartial survey that I have conducted over the past 30 years, my wife and my mother-in-law are the two finest cooks in the world. Read more »
Santa’s Legal Dream Team
Dec 15, 2009
It’s a little known fact, but Santa Claus has the best lawyers money can buy. Read more »
A Book Review of Some Assembly Required: A Daddy's Christmas Book
Dec 9, 2009
Excerpt: The holiday season is upon us. Chances are, by the time you read this review, you will be knee deep in Christmas parties, presents to wrap, cards to send, deadlines to meet, traffic to fight, shopping to finish and relatives to entertain. It is enough to send most people over the edge. For those looking to escape, I highly recommend Bill Haltom's latest book, Some ... Read more »
Keep Them Cards and Letters Coming In!
Dec 4, 2009
I have no idea who started the tradition of sending out cards and letters during the Christmas season. I suspect it as part of an elaborate conspiracy by the Hallmark Greeting Card Company. While I don’t want to come across as the Grinch Who Stole Christmas Cards, this is one holiday tradition that I really ... Read more »
Thanksgiving: The Kickoff to the Holiday Season
Nov 20, 2009
Jasper, Tenn. – On Thanksgiving afternoon two undefeated teams will square off in the biggest game of this football season. I’m not talking about Super Bowl XXXVII or the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl or even the Weedeater Microsoft Waterpik Shower Massage Liberty Freedom Independence Bowl! No, I’m talking ... Read more »
The Trial of Atticus
Nov 5, 2009
Next year marks the 50th anniversary of the publication of Harper Lee’s Pulitzer Prize-winning masterpiece, To Kill A Mockingbird, and the 48th anniversary of the film based on the novel, featuring an Academy Award-winning performance by Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch. Read more »
Halloween is a Conspiracy of the American Dental Association
Oct 29, 2009
Saturday night is Halloween, that special annual night when neighborhoods across America are invaded by millions of little yard apes dressed like ghosts and goblins. These little monsters appear on our front porches, ring our doorbells, and demand that we give them candy bars. Read more »
WWJS: What Would Jesus Say?
Oct 23, 2009
In 1985, a group of liberal theologians created “The Jesus Seminar.” The purpose of the “Seminar” was to re-examine the New Testament Gospels to determine what Jesus may or may not have said during his lifetime. Read more »
Will President Obama Win the Heisman Trophy?
Oct 15, 2009
Last week President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. His selection for this prestigious award came as a surprise to just about everybody, including President Obama. He said he was “humbled” by the award and would accept it as a “call to action.” In other words, he will ... Read more »
Letterman: Sleaze Will Make Him King
Oct 9, 2009
Once upon a time in Television Land, Johnny Carson was the King of Late Night. For thirty years, a series of pretenders (including Merv Griffin, Dick Cavett, Joey Bishop and Arsenio Hall) tried to steal his throne. But they failed miserably. Read more »
The Jumbotron That Ate Dallas
Oct 1, 2009
It is an understatement to say that I am a football fan. I am actually a football fanatic. Literally. In fact, I need to be in a twelve-step recovery program for football fans: Read more »
Time to Start Building An Ark?
Sep 24, 2009
One of my favorite stories is about the man who as a small child survived the Johnstown flood. Understandably, it was an incredible experience that the man never got over. He spent the rest of his life writing about it, teaching about it, and regaling anyone who would listen as he gave his first-hand account of one of ... Read more »
A Word of Advice (Actually, Two Words) for All Rude Americans
Sep 17, 2009
Is it just me, or is everyone in America suddenly spring-loaded in the hacked-off position? Whether it’s politics, sports, or show business, everyone seems to be downright rude to each other these days. Read more »
John, Paul, George, Ringo . . . and Me
Sep 10, 2009
I have waited nearly a half century for this moment. And this week, it finally arrived. At long last, I get to join The Beatles. Read more »
We Interrupt This Marriage to Bring You Another College Football Season
Sep 3, 2009
This weekend I will say good-bye to my wife and daughter and head straight for the sofa. As my wife is fond of saying, “We interrupt this marriage to bring you the college football season!” Read more »
Coming Soon: The First Chick-Fil-A Presbyterian Church
Aug 27, 2009
I am a strong believer in the separation of church and state. However, I do not believe in the separation of church and chicken. In fact, I believe that when God rested on the seventh day, He enjoyed a large plate of fried chicken, washed down by some sweet tea. Read more »
Daddy Faces the Death Panel
Aug 20, 2009
America is now embroiled in a fierce national debate over health care. Well, it’s a “debate” if you call town hall meetings in which people scream at each other at the top of their lungs a “debate.” It reminds me of the “debates” that take place between wrestlers before a big ... Read more »
To Kill A Chihuahua
Aug 14, 2009
Ask any lawyer over the age of 50 to name his or her all-time favorite movie, and the odds are overwhelming that he or she will quickly reply, “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Indeed, many lawyers of my generation (myself included) will tell you that they became a lawyer because they were inspired by Gregory Peck’s ... Read more »
No Shirt, No Shoes . . . No Babies!
Aug 6, 2009
Like all descendants of Adam and Eve, Kaylin Frederich entered this world naked. Actually, she was wearing her birthday suit, but it did not come with shoes. Read more »
Mommas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Interns
Jul 28, 2009
My daughter is a budding politician. She is President of her middle school’s honor counsel, a graduate of two national student leadership programs, and, of course, a Princess. She is an eloquent speaker and a good writer. She reads the newspaper every morning (she has to be the only person in America under ... Read more »
A Classic Summer Law Suit
Jul 24, 2009
I’m an old-fashioned, traditional Southern lawyer. I talk like a Southern lawyer, walk like a Southern lawyer, and dress like a Southern lawyer. And so on Tuesday morning, May 26 (the day after Memorial Day), I put on my summer law suit. Read more »
Judge Sonia Sotomayor: A Case of Misplaced Empathy
Jul 16, 2009
Judge Sonia Sotomayor, who is a very wise Latina woman from the Bronx, has spent this week being cross-examined by a bunch of white men. (Well, not all white men, but mostly.) The white men who are interrogating her are members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, and many of them do not have much empathy for Judge ... Read more »
Girding Our Loins: Will Real Men Wear Girdles?
Jul 9, 2009
As a life-long member of the male gender, I have always felt that men have two advantages over women. First, we wear sensible shoes. Second, we wear loose underwear. Read more »
Compared to Streaking, This Is Just a Flash (Mob) in The Pan
Jul 2, 2009
I am pleased to report that the First Amendment is alive and well on Tennessee's college campuses. Students across the Volunteer State are vigorously exercising their Constitutional right to assemble and engage in free speech often directed toward fellow students at the University of Florida. And unlike the college ... Read more »
Tennessee Just Says No To Al Gore…Again!
Jun 25, 2009
He has won a Nobel Prize and an Academy Award. For eight years he was a heartbeat away from the Presidency. In the 2000 Presidential Election, he won the popular vote by a large margin, only to lose the election by one vote (Justice Scalia’s). But back here in his home state, on Election Day 2000, Al Gore was snubbed by his fellow Tennesseans. And last week, he got ... Read more »
Father's Day: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow!
Jun 16, 2009
When I was a little boy growing up in north Memphis during the Eisenhower Administration, Father’s Day was a big deal. That’s because fathers were a big deal. Read more »
But Seriously, Folks: Twelve Angry Tweeters
May 27, 2009
When I first heard my fellow lawyers using the word “twitter,” I thought they were referring to the little birdie who co-starred on the Bugs Bunny Show (“I taught I taw a putty tat!”) or a famous country music singer (“Hello, darling! Nice to see you! It’s been a long time!”) Recently, a young female attorney asked me whether I “twitter,” and ... Read more »
Big Orange Alimony For Fun and Profit
May 3, 2009
I am a big fan of Bruce Pearl, head coach of the University of Tennessee Gentlemen Vols basketball team. He is, in my impartial opinion, the second greatest basketball coach in America. The first, of course, is the legendary Pat Summitt, coach of the Tennessee Vols basketball team. You will note that I do not refer to the University of Tennessee ... Read more »
Legal Rawhide: Time To Brand Them Dogie Lawyers!
Apr 21, 2009
Long before I dreamed of being a lawyer, I wanted to be a cowboy. I wanted to sit tall in the saddle like the Marlboro Man or Roy Rogers or Gene Autry. That’s because I grew up watching TV Westerns such as Gunsmoke, Bonanza, and Wyatt Earp. My all-time favorite TV Western was Rawhide. The show featured cattle drivers and starred Eric Fleming as trail boss ... Read more »
A Time to Bring Back Law Suits... And Shoe Shines!
Mar 2, 2009
Long-time readers of this silly column (and you know who you are) know how I feel about how we lawyers should dress. I believe that every problem now faced by the American legal profession – tort reform, the decline in civility, Alberto Gonzales – have all been caused by the advent of “casual day” at law firms throughout our once well-dressed nation. ... Read more »
Prayer Meetings in the Conference Room
Feb 3, 2009
When I was a little boy growing up in the Baptist church my father pastored in north Memphis, our congregation would gather on Wednesday nights for mid-week “prayer meeting.” Prayer meetings weren’t as formal as the Sunday morning worship service. There was no choir in the choir loft on Wednesday nights. There wasn’t even an organist or ... Read more »
Time For a Federal Bailout of Rabbit Ears
Jan 7, 2009
I have been watching television now for over 56 years. Not in one sitting, mind you. I have gotten up from my Barcalounger from time to time to go to the bathroom or make a sandwich. And I did break away from the screen long enough to get an education, pass the bar exam, get married and raise a family. But other than that, I have pretty much been ... Read more »
Not Your Father's Supreme Court Anymore
Nov 2, 2008
Tennessee, where the men are men, and the women are . . . Supreme Court Justices! On September 2, the Honorable Janice Holder became the first female Chief Justice in the history of the Tennessee Supreme Court. Three weeks later, Governor Bredesen appointed Judge Sharon Lee to the State’s highest court, and faster than you could say “Ruth Bader Ginsberg,” ... Read more »
Dress For Female Lawyer Success
Oct 30, 2008
Unreliable sources advise me that the Memphis Bar Association Board of Directors is considering drafting a dress code for women lawyers. Such a code would be designed to provide sartorial guidelines for female lawyers making court appearances. Insofar as I know, there is no MBA dress code for male lawyers. If there is one, it sure isn’t enforced. ... Read more »