No Longer Sleeping With a Judge
Sep 2, 2010
For the past 17 years, I have been sleeping with a judge. Read more »
The Night Momma Tried to Save Elvis
Aug 20, 2010
It's "Elvis Week" in my hometown, and River City is being overrun by more Elvis worshipers and wannabes than you can shake a fried peanut butter and nanner sandwich at. Unless you believe those reports that the King is now flying around in a UFO with Jimmy Hoffa or is living in a Burger King in Kalamazoo, Elvis has been dead now for 33 ... Read more »
Coffee, Tea…Or Reality TV!
Aug 13, 2010
Meet America’s newest hero, Jet Blue Airlines flight attendant Steven Slater. Read more »
The Cover-up: Invoking One’s Privilege Against Self-Tattoo-Ization
Aug 4, 2010
We all have our prejudices, and let me admit mine. I don’t like tattoos. Actually, it’s worse than that. I hate tattoos. I hate tattoos on men, and I really hate tattoos on women. Read more »
There Is No “I” In Loyalty
Jul 9, 2010
It’s one of the oldest adages in sports: There is no “I” in “team.” Read more »
Sunrise At Myrtle Point
Jul 1, 2010
This past Sunday morning, my wife and daughter and I awoke at 5:30 a.m. in the darkness of a tiny rustic cabin at the top of Mt. LeConte, the third highest peak in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Read more »
Are You Ready For Some Soccer?
Jun 24, 2010
I attended my first soccer game twenty years ago. It was an epic showdown battle between Evergreen Playschool and First Baptist Church’s Mother’s Day Out. Read more »
Father Knew Best: TV All-Time Greatest Dads
Jun 17, 2010
This Sunday is Father’s Day, that special annual day when we honor dear old Dad by giving him either a bottle of Aqua Velva (there’s something about an Aqua Velva Daddy!) or a new tie. Read more »
Al and Tipper: Say It Ain’t So!
Jun 2, 2010
I have always admired Al and Tipper Gore. While they do bear a disturbing resemblance to Ken and Barbie, I have respected both of them for a number of reasons. Read more »
College: Why Bother?
May 21, 2010
MAY 15, 2010 – PRINCETON, N.J. – I love college campuses. I spent eight of the best years of my life on one. No, it didn’t take me eight years to graduate from college. It took me eight years to get a bachelor’s degree and a law degree. I know, that’s only supposed to take ... Read more »
Nothing but Softball Questions for Ms. Kagan
May 13, 2010
CHAIRMAN LEAHY: This meeting of the Senate Judiciary Committee will now come to order! Today we will begin hearings on the issue of the confirmation of Elena Kagan for the United States Supreme Court! Good morning, Ms. Kagan! Read more »
This Mother’s Day, Momma Needs A Nap
May 6, 2010
This Sunday is that special annual day when we tell the Mommas of America just how much we love them by sending them flowers and greeting cards that say, “To Momma, on her special day . . . Now what’s for dinner?” Read more »
Let Us Now Praise Famous Administrative Professionals
Apr 22, 2010
Wednesday was Administrative Professionals Day, that annual day when America honors the wonderful office workers who greet the clients, answer the phones, process the words (a task formerly known as “typing”), organize the files, schedule the appointments, cancel the appointments, make sure all the business trains run ... Read more »
How to Become a United States Supreme Court Justice
Apr 15, 2010
Last week, United States Supreme Court Associate Justice John Paul Stevens announced that he will soon be retiring from the Nation’s highest court. I am sure that when you heard the announcement, you immediately asked yourself, “Hey, what do I have to do to get President Obama to appoint me to this opening on the ... Read more »
Opening Day: Let’s Keep the Game Nice and Slow, Thank You!
Apr 5, 2010
It’s opening day for Major League Baseball, and hope springs eternal, even for Cubs fans. With just 162 games left on the schedule, every team in Major League Baseball (with one wonderful exception) is currently undefeated and tied for first place in their division. That exception is the evil New York Yankees, ... Read more »
A New Career Takes Off
Mar 30, 2010
Over the years, people have frequently asked me, "Bill, why have you not pursued a career as a fashion model? It's a good question. I obviously have the potential to be a model model. To read the remainder of the article, please download the PDF. Read more »
Remembering the King of the Wild Frontier
Mar 25, 2010
On the night of December 15, 1954, something dramatic happened. I have no memory of the event. I was only two years old at the time, but what happened that night had a huge impact on my childhood, as well as the childhoods of millions of baby boomers. Read more »
Are You Ready for Some Curling?
Feb 24, 2010
Because I’m a sports addict, I spend most evenings and my entire weekends watching ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN U, ESPN Classic, Fox Sports, Fox Sports South, Fox Sports North, Fox Sports Tennessee, Fox Sports Eastern Montana, the NFL Network, the SEC Network, the MLB Network, and the 24 hour-a-day Lacrosse Channel. I will watch ... Read more »
Note to Tiger: Litigation Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry
Feb 18, 2010
According to news reports, Tiger Woods is about to have a press conference so he can publicly apologize for certain transgressions. I think this is a bad idea for two reasons. First, insofar as I know, the only person Tiger needs to apologize to is his wife. (Well, maybe he should apologize to Phil Mickelson for ... Read more »
Move Over, Vancouver! Make Way for the Memphis Winter Olympics!
Feb 11, 2010
We Memphians see snow about as often as we see Halley’s Comet. But when we do get a little snow here in River City, we make the most of it. Read more »
Any Country That Can’t Put a Man on The Moon . . .
Feb 3, 2010
It has been said that every American over the age of fifty can tell you exactly where they were at three moments in their life. First, they remember where they were on September 11, 2001, when they heard that terrorists had attacked the World Trade Center. Read more »
Remembering Friday Nights with Johnny
Jan 22, 2010
Nearly fifty years ago when I was a little boy growing in suburban Memphis, my favorite night of the week was Friday. That was the night Mom and Dad let me stay up late with my buddy Johnny. Johnny was Johnny Carson, host of the Tonight Show which came on Channel 5 in Memphis at 10:30 p.m. When I was ten years ... Read more »
Kiffin and Calipari: The Evil Twins of the NCAA
Jan 14, 2010
I am convinced that University of Kentucky head basketball coach John Calipari and University of Tennessee . . . excuse me, I mean University of Southern California head football coach Lane Kiffin are evil twins who were separated at birth. Along with Ed Orgeron, they may even be evil triplets. Read more »
Holiday Season Over, Diet Season Begins
Jan 6, 2010
Our family Christmas tree now rests by our mailbox at the edge of the driveway. Later this week it will be picked up by the city sanitation crew and given an honorable burial. Read more »