A Word of Advice (Actually, Two Words) for All Rude Americans

            Is it just me, or is everyone in America suddenly spring-loaded in the hacked-off position?  Whether it’s politics, sports, or show business, everyone seems to be downright rude to each other these days.

            Last week, President Obama’s speech to a joint session of Congress was interrupted by a South Carolina Congressman who screamed, “You lie!”  While listeners of the Rush Limbaugh Show may find this hard to believe, this sort of outburst has never before happened during a Presidential address to Congress.  It didn’t even happen when Nixon was President.

            A few days later, the women’s semi-finals of the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament in New York City ended abruptly when Serena Williams threatened to shove the tennis ball down a line judge’s throat.  Williams also used vulgar language that would make a sailor blush and made John McEnroe look like a gentleman by comparison.

            And then, less than 24 hours later, rap artist Kanye West interrupted country music singer Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards, grabbing the microphone to announce that Beyonce actually should have gotten the award.  Now I must admit that prior to this incident, I didn’t have the slightest idea who Kanye West is, inasmuch as I regard “rap music” as an oxymoron.  And not surprisingly, I did not see the MTV Awards, as I was watching the Bears and Packers on ESPN.  Nevertheless, on Monday morning, the film clip of Kanye hijacking the microphone from Taylor Swift’s precious little country hands was shown on all the TV news broadcasts, so I saw it.

I’ve watched a lot of awards programs during my lifetime, including the Oscars, the Emmys, the Tonys, and the ESPYs.  But I’ve never seen an acceptance speech interrupted by another entertainer claiming that the recipient should not have gotten the award.  I once saw an Indian Princess announce that George C. Scott was turning down the Oscar for best actor, but that’s an entirely different thing.

I still vividly remember Sally “Gidget” Fields screaming “You like me!  You really like me!” when she got the Oscar for her performance as Norma Rae.  I can only imagine what poor Gidget would have done had Jane Fonda jumped up on the stage and said, “Sally, you don’t deserve this!  I should have gotten the award for my performance in The China Syndrome!”

            But nothing would surprise me now that everyone in America is acting like a bunch of professional wrestlers.

            Before you interrupt this column by screaming out “You’re not funny, Haltom!” or threatening to shove a tennis ball down my blog, please be patient and hear me out.  I have a suggestion on how we can return civility to American life.

            Actually, this suggestion is not mine.  It was the idea of the late great Lewis Grizzard, or more actually, Lewis’ Momma.

            Lewis Grizzard remains to this day my all-time favorite newspaper columnist.  He’s been gone for ten years, and I still miss his wonderful columns.

            From time to time, whenever I am feeling down, I go to my bookshelf and pull out one of his wonderful books.  The titles alone were fantastic:  If Love Were Oil, I’d Be About A Quart Low . . . I Haven’t Understood Anything Since 1962 . . . Elvis is Dead, and I’m Not Feeling So Good Myself.

            And when I read his old columns, they always make me feel better.

            My all-time favorite Lewis Grizzard column is one that appeared in the Atlanta Journal on January 7, 1994.  It was entitled “Be Sweet.”  In the column, Lewis remembered that every time he said good-bye to his mother, she would always end the good-bye with those two simple and wonderful words:  “Be Sweet.”  But as Lewis recalled, in our modern culture, we ignore those words:

          We aren't sweet.  The truth is we don't honor sweet.  We don't even like sweet.  Sweet is weak.

          Women go to classes to learn not to be sweet.

          We've got an entire generation of young men out there who are drunk and dying on their own testosterone.  Being sweet can get you killed in that group.

          It's a manhood thing.  An Atlanta Falcons football player decides somebody has challenged his manhood outside an Atlanta night club, so he goes to his car and gets his gun.

          No.  No.  Be Sweet.

          Be kind and be gentle.  Be tolerant.  Be forgiving and slow to anger.  Be tender and be able to cry.  Be kind to old people and dogs and don't cut off any part of anybody's else anatomy.

          Be loving . . . Be tender . . . Share . . . Don't pout . . . Don't be so loud . . . Hold a puppy . . . Kiss a hand . . . Put your arms around a frightened child . . .

          Be sweet . . . The wonders that might do . . . The wonders that just might do . . .

          I can still hear you, Momma.

Lewis wrote those words over fifteen years ago.  He’s been gone now for ten years, but his words . . . his Momma’s words . . . still ring true.

We can all agree to disagree.  We can criticize the President, boo a bad call during a sports game, and even think to ourself that Taylor Swift should not have gotten an MTV Video Award.

But even as we agree to disagree, or even disagree about whether we should agree, we should always remember those two simple words . . .Be Sweet.