Al and Tipper: Say It Ain’t So!

            I have always admired Al and Tipper Gore.  While they do bear a disturbing resemblance to Ken and Barbie, I have respected both of them for a number of reasons.

            I respect Al because unlike Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Danny Quayle, and Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, Al went to Vietnam.  He wasn’t a Vietnam War-era Veteran.  He is a Vietnam War Veteran.

            Second, unlike Bill Clinton, Al has a zipper and knows how to use it.

            And third, he handled the 2000 Presidential Election with a great deal of class.  After winning the popular vote, he ended up losing the election by one vote, (Justice Scalia’s).  But when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled, Al quickly called a press conference, reiterated his respect for the rule of law, and congratulated then-Governor Bush on his victory.

            And after that, Al promptly went out and healed his political wounds by winning a Nobel Prize, an Oscar, and apparently, the power ball lottery, as he is now a billionaire.  He’s not a limousine liberal.  He’s a lear jet liberal.

            I have always respected Tipper as a wonderful mother who over a generation ago actually had the guts to take on Hollywood and the music industry for producing films and songs that demean women and promote violence.  Her position did not exactly win her husband votes in the liberal wing of the Democratic Party, but she was right.

            And above all, I have always admired Al and Tipper for living family values, rather than talking about them.

            And so on Tuesday morning when I heard the “breaking news” that Al and Tipper were splitting the satin sheets after 40 years of marriage, I was shocked and disappointed.  It was, to say the least, an inconvenient truth.

            I realize that life is complicated.  I also know from 29 years of personal experience that even the best of marriages can be a real job for both the husband and the wife.  I also realize that some of the biggest challenges to a marriage occur after the kids are grown and have left home and all those career crusades have been fought and won or lost.

            And so I will not cast stones at Al and Tipper Gore.  I just have to say that I am surprised that they are separated and Bill and Hillary are still together.

            I wish that Al and Tipper would, in the words of the late divorcee Ronald Reagan, “stay the course.”  It seems to me that leaving a marriage after 40 years is like dropping out of a marathon at the 25th mile.

            I wish they would get back together and give each other one of them big slobbery kisses like they did at the Democratic National Convention in 2000.  Al was the first nominee for President ever to suck face at his nominating convention.

            I guess I still want to believe in Ward and June Cleaver and all that stuff about ‘til death do us part and happily ever after.

            I can’t do anything to save Al and Tipper’s marriage.  But there is one marriage I can do something about.

            I’ve got to go.  I’m going to send my wife some flowers.