All The News That’s Fit To Scream

            When I was a child growing up during the Eisenhower Administration followed by the New Frontier, there were only two nightly television new programs.  There was the Huntley-Brinkley News Report on Channel 5 and the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite on Channel 3.  Each program lasted a grand total of 15 minutes.  At 5:30 p.m., Central Standard Time, each weekday, Chet Huntley would appear on our screen in living black and white and announce, “Chet Huntley, NBC News, New York!”  And then David Brinkley would appear and announce, “David Brinkley, NBC News, Washington!” And just 15 minutes later, after telling us all the national news we really needed to know, they would say goodnight.  Literally.  “Goodnight, Chet.”  “Goodnight, David.” 

            And if we then quickly switched over to Channel 3, we would hear Walter Cronkite sign off his 15 minutes of news with his trademark,  “And that’s the way it is!”

            And that’s the way it was, fifteen minutes of national TV news each night.  At 5:45 p.m., my parents would turn off our Zenith set, and we would then enjoy a nice dinner.  After dinner, if my homework was done, I could turn the tube back on, but there were no more news programs.  Instead I would watch shows about families like my own (Father Knows Best, Make Room for Daddy) or shows about Cowboys and Indians.  

            If we wanted more news, we could read Memphis’ daily evening newspaper, The Press Scimitar.  In a way, I was the Walter Cronkite of The Press Scimitar, as each afternoon I delivered the evening paper to my house and to 85 other subscribers in our neighborhood.  On Thursday nights after dinner, I would go through the neighborhood collecting 50 cents from each of these subscribers. (“I was rich, rich!  rich!) 

            But Chet, David, Walter and The Press Scimitar are all dead now, and I’m not feeling so good myself. 

            And the reason I don’t feel so good these days is that instead of 15 minutes of national news on TV each evening, we now have broadcast news 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  It is classic TMI, or in this case, TMN, Too Much News. 

            The NBC Nightly News now lasts a half hour.  So does the CBS Evening News.  And they are followed by another 23 ½ hours of news from CNN News, CNN Headline News, Fox News, Fox Business News, MSNBC, CNBC, and instead of Chet, David and Walter, we now have Wolf Blitzer, Bill O’Reilly, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Sean Hannity, Nancy Grace, Rachel Maddow, Dylan Ratigan, Ed Schultz, Sanjay Gupta, Joe Scarborough, Greta Von Susteren, Don Imus, Pat Buchanan, and about 5,000 other news broadcasters and commentators. 

            And all these people don’t just deliver the news.  They scream it at us.

            I never recall Chet Huntley and David Brinkley screaming at each other during the Huntley-Brinkley News Report.  But one of the regular features of nightly news programs in the 21st century is that the broadcasters and commentators yell at each other.  Al Sharpton screams at Pat Buchanan.  Sean Hannity screams at liberals.  Keith Olbermann screams at conservatives.  It all reminds me of something Lucy once said in a classic Peanuts cartoon: “If you’re wrong, be wrong at the top of your voice!” 

            Now you would think that with nightly news programs on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, America would be a much more informed nation.  In fact, the opposite is true.  Since all the nightly news broadcasts feature self-righteous, whining people screaming and calling each other names, America has become an entire nation of whiny, screaming, self-righteous people who call each other names. 

            America is now fighting two wars and facing the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression.  The country is almost bankrupt, poverty rates are rising, our children’s test scores are dropping precipitously.   

            Faced with these challenges, you would think that the 24/7 nightly news programs would feature in-depth discussion and analysis of the issues underlying these problems. 

            Well, think again Bill O’Reilly-breath!  Over the past several days, all the 24/7 nightly news programs have focused on the crucial issue of a crazy preacher in a double-wide trailer in Florida who wants to burn copies of the Koran.  That’s right, my fellow Americans.  The nightly news programs gave this nut job center stage.  This might make sense if the crazy preacher had a big following like, say, Pat Robertson or Joel Osteen.  But the crazy preacher in Florida is the pastor of a church with a congregation of about 30 equally crazy people.  Its not a mega church, it’s a mini church.  And no one ever heard of the crazy nut job preacher until he announced that he was going to fill up his Florida barbeque pit with copies of books he admits he’s never even read. 

            I don’t recall Walter Cronkite ever turning over his microphone to some blithering idiot.  Bu the cable news channel love to do it.  There was a time in America when someone who was nuttier than a fruit cake would be put in a psychiatric hospital where they would receive electric shock therapy.  Now they get their own cable TV show.   

            I also don’t recall Chet Huntley and David Brinkley ever screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. But if you watch the Chris Matthews Show or The McLaughlin Group, you’ll think you’re watching a re-run of the old Saturday Night Live news broadcasts with Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin. (“Jane, you ignorant slut!”) 

            So what is the impact of all these nut jobs from the extreme left and the extreme right coming on so-called news shows each night and screaming at each other?  Well, it’s certainly not a better-informed citizenry.  It’s a mad-as-hell-and-we’re-not-gonna-take-it-anymore citizenry.   

            Thanks to the culture of the endless TV news cycles, just about everybody in America these days is spring-loaded in the pissed-off position.  Nobody tries to work together.  No one seeks common ground.   

            And why should we?  If you behave like a reasonable person who wants to work with other people to solve the problems of our country, you’ll never get elected to public office.  And you’ll certainly never have your own TV show on Fox or MSNBC.  

            The raging moderate who tries to get along with folks and work for the common good just ain’t news.