Coming Soon: The First Chick-Fil-A Presbyterian Church

            I am a strong believer in the separation of church and state.  However, I do not believe in the separation of church and chicken.  In fact, I believe that when God rested on the seventh day, He enjoyed a large plate of fried chicken, washed down by some sweet tea.

            I grew up a Southern fried Baptist.  And as such, I was raised to believe in the Lord and fried chicken.

            When I was growing up as a Baptist PK (preacher’s kid), Sundays meant church and fried chicken.  On most Sundays, we would eat fried chicken in the fellowship hall of the church right after the morning worship service.  At about five minutes till noon, the choir would be singing the 47th verse of “Just as I Am,” and my preacher dad would be standing in front of the altar, inviting folks to come forward.  But at about this same time, everybody in the congregation could smell the fried chicken in the fellowship hall.  Instead of wanting to walk down the aisle and make a profession of faith, we wanted to walk downstairs to the fellowship hall and surrender ourselves to the fried chicken.

            Having been raised in the faith and fried chicken, I was delighted to hear the recent good news that a new fast food restaurant is opening near my neighborhood in midtown Memphis.  And while it won’t be open on Sundays, it does promise to bring back the glory of my childhood days of fried chicken in the church fellowship hall.

            The new fast food restaurant is a Chick-Fil-A.  But this is no ordinary Chick-Fil-A.  It should be called the First Chick-Fil-A Presbyterian Church!

            For nearly 60 years, the Cumberland Presbyterian Center was located at 1978 Union Avenue in Memphis, serving as the denominational headquarters of the church.  The building was a very impressive “neo-gothic structure.”

            But in 2005, the Cumberland Presbyterians voted to leave the old building on Union Avenue and build a new denominational headquarters.  Enter Chick-Fil-A, a nationwide chain of fast food restaurants that, interestingly enough, are closed on Sundays.  Chick-Fil-A purchased the Cumberland Presbyterian Center property with the intention of tearing down the building and putting up a restaurant on the site.  Midtown neighborhood residents cried, “Foul!,” or rather, in this case, “Fowl!”  After months of discussion, debates, and no doubt a few prayer meetings featuring a covered dish fried chicken dinner, a wonderful compromise was reached.  Chick-Fil-A would build its new restaurant, but would preserve the facade of the Cumberland Presbyterian Center.

            The new restaurant will open on September 17th featuring a unique design whereby the facade of the old Cumberland Presbyterian Center will front an outdoor dining area.  It will be much like an old church fellowship hall, except outdoors.

            Some of my neighbors remain unhappy with the new First Chick-Fil-A Presbyterian Church.  But I see it as fulfillment of Calvinistic predestination.

            In fact, I believe the creation of the new First Chick-Fil-A Presbyterian Church could usher in the advent of similar fast food church-restaurants across America.

            Who could resist the First Southern Fried Baptist Chick-Fil-A Church?  Or how about the Greater United In-Pursuit-of-Chicken Chick-Fil-A Methodist Church?

            Why even Episcopalians could get into the act.  So many of their churches feature unique names like St. Phillip’s-By-The-Sea or Trinity-By-The-Money.  (That’s the actual nickname of an Episcopal church on Wall Street in New York City.)

            Well, I say it’s time for the Episcopalians to open St. Bartholomew’s-By-The-Chicken!

            Other fast food chains should also follow Chick-Fil-A’s example and align with churches.  One can just imagine the success of Captain D’s Loaves and Fishes. (“5000 served!”)

            Well, brothers and sisters, I can’t wait for the opening of the new First Chick-Fil-A Presbyterian Church.  I plan to go there every Sunday.  … Wait a minute..  I forgot.  Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sunday.