Congressional Pillow Talk: From the Prom to the Sleepover

            Last month on the night of the State of the Union Address, we had the Congressional Prom.  And now, each and every night at the Capitol, we have the Congressional Sleepover!

             At least 30 members of the United States Congress admit they sleep on the job, and 20 more Congressmen are suspected of Congressional dozing.  No real surprise here.  Anyone who has ever watched Congressional proceedings on C-Span can attest that it’s a perfect cure for insomnia.

              But the surprising fact about Congressional snoring is not that it occurs, but when and where it occurs.  Many members of Congress aren’t simply nodding off at committee meetings or during roll calls on the floor of the House or Senate.  They are sleeping at night on sofas or cots in their Congressional offices rather than buying or renting housing in D.C.

             Most of these Congressional couch potatoes take pride in converting their offices into dorm rooms.  They claim they do it because they are frugal, hard-working, and either can’t afford or refuse to pay for pricey apartments or condos in tony Georgetown.  (By the way, Tony Georgetown is not the name of a Congressman.  It is a reference to a swanky D.C. neighborhood where President Kennedy lived when he was a cool Senator.)

             But hold on to your PJs, Barney Frank!  Don’t cry yourself to sleep, Speaker Boehner!  Clutch your (national) security blanket, Nancy Pillow-see!  You may soon get a wake-up call!  A watchdog group called “Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics” wants the Office of Congressional Ethics to investigate whether members of Congress who sleep on their office sofas or Congressional cots are getting “an unfair tax break” and violating Congressional ethics rules by “making personal use of public resources.”  Melanie Sloan, Executive Director of the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics, told the Associated Press, “House office buildings are not dorms or frat houses.  If members didn’t want to find housing in Washington, they shouldn’t have run for Congress in the first place.”

             The watchdog group points out that members of Congress receive a salary of $174,000 a year.  That’s a lot of money.  But is it enough to pay for a second home in our Nation’s Capital?

             To give you some idea how expensive housing is in Washington, D.C., consider the case of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.  Senator Reid does not sleep on a couch in his office.  He doesn’t pull a mattress out from under his desk or curl up on a cot in the Senate cloak room.  Believe it or not, Senator Reid lives in the Washington, D.C. Ritz-Carlton Hotel.  I’ve never stayed at the Ritz-Carlton in Washington.  However, from what I’ve read, their nightly tariff is a little higher than what they charge at Motel 6.  In fact, according to published reports, rooms at the D.C. Ritz-Carlton range in price from $600 to $800 per night.

             To paraphrase a line from the late great statesman Everett Dirksen, “$600 one night, $800 the next, and before you know it, we’re talking about real money!”  Well, with all due respect to Citizens for Ethics, Responsibility, and Suites at the Ritz-Carlton, I see no problem with my Congressman sleeping on a congressional sofa, a Lazy-Congressional-Boy recliner, a whoopee cushion, or even a government-issued waterbed left over from the Clinton Administration.

             I frankly don’t care where my congressman sleeps as long as I don’t have to pay for it.  And unless Congressman Rip Van Winkle is using tax money to have his offices redecorated by a federally subsidized Bed Bath and Beyond, it’s fine with me if he wants to go beddy-bye in some nook or cranny in the Longworth Building.  In fact, my congressman can curl up next to Honest Abe in the Lincoln Memorial for all I care, so long he (my congressman, not Honest Abe) clears out by morning.

             I just hope the next time I turn on C-Span I don’t see Nancy Pelosi, Al Frankin and Lamar Alexander dancing around in footy pajamas.