Diary of A Mock Trial Dad

             On the night of March the 12th, I sat in a courtroom in Nashville, anxiously awaiting a verdict in the biggest case of my life.

             In my 33 years as a trial lawyer, I have impatiently waited on verdicts in over 100 cases.  It’s the part of my job I hate.  I love trying lawsuits.  I love standing in front of a judge and jury and trying to persuade them to return justice or mercy (depending upon the facts of the case) for my client.  But when the proof is all in, the closing arguments are done, and the judge finishes instructing the jury, I am absolutely miserable.  Like most lawyers, I’m a control freak.  And when those 12 folks go back to the jury room and shut the door, I curl myself up in the fetal position, suck my thumb, and whimper.

             It’s a pathetic sight.

            And then, after waiting for what seems like years, the moment of truth comes.  I hear that knock on the jury room door, and shortly thereafter, the judge announces, “They say they’ve got a verdict.”

             And then, of course, I pray that I don’t wet my pants.

             So there I was, a pathetic old lawyer sitting alone in a Nashville courtroom, praying for either justice or mercy.  I’d take either one.

             Now here’s the interesting part.  I hadn’t even been a lawyer in the trial.  And it wasn’t even a real trial.  It was a mock trial between White Station High School and the McCallie School in Chattanooga.

             And why was this the biggest case of my career?  Simple.  My daughter, Her Royal Highness the Princess, is a member of the White Station Fighting Spartans mock trial team.

            Yes, I’m a proud mock trial dad!

             During my era of fatherhood, I’ve watched my children compete in soccer games, baseball games, basketball games, football games, track meets, swim meets, wrestling meets, spelling bees, and pine wood derby races.  At each and every one of these events, I have been an enthusiastic spectator.  I cheered at the top of my lungs when my son or daughter made a goal in a soccer game.  I even jumped out of my chair and yelled “Yes!”  during a spelling bee when my son absolutely nailed the word “onomatopoeia.”Sometimes I have been a little too enthusiastic.  For example, I once almost cost the Grace St. Luke’s 8th grade basketball team a game because a very thin-skinned referee told me that if I did not shut up, he would call a technical foul on the Saints.  All I had been trying to do was assist the referee in officiating the game by politely pointing out to him when I felt he had made an incorrect call.

             But at the state high school mock trial finals between White Station and McCallie, I had to sit quiet as a church mouse.

             When I’m a lawyer in a trial, I don’t have to be quiet.  When things aren’t going well for my side of the case, I can simply jump up and yell, “Objection!”

             But at the state mock trial finals, I had to keep my big mouth shut.  And there’s nothing harder for a trial lawyer to do than to keep his or her big mouth shut in court.

             After the Spartans’ opening statement, I wanted to jump up and scream, “YES!”

             And after one of the Spartans dismantled McCallie’s expert witness on cross-examination, I wanted to start my fellow White Station parents in doing “the wave.”

              But the trial judge for the state mock trial finals was Tennessee Chief Justice Connie Clark.  I fully realized that if I either started cheering the Spartans or booing McCallie, the Chief Justice could do something much more significant than call a technical foul on White Station.  She could hold me in contempt of court.

              I’m not sure what happens if someone gets held in contempt of court in a mock trial.  Maybe they get sent to a mock jail.  But I didn’t want to find out, so I just sat there in agony and watched the trial unfold.

              The McCallie team was good.  After all, they didn’t make it all the way to the finals by bribing mock judges.  But while McCallie was good, the White Station Spartans were absolutely fabulous.  This was no coincidence.  Over thirty years, the Spartans mock trial team has become a dynasty thanks to a wonderful Memphis lawyer named Buddy Bernstein.

             Buddy Bernstein is to Tennessee high school mock trial what Bear Bryant was to football and what Pat Summitt has been to basketball.  Coming into this year’s competition, Buddy had already coached the Spartans to four state championships, including the last two.

            “Coach Buddy” has a staff of 4 great assistant coaches, Memphis lawyers, Jeremy Alpert, Nicole Bermel, Mark Erskine, and Andrea McKinnon.  The Green Bay Packers don’t have a better coaching staff.

             Thanks to great coaching, hard work, discipline, and a whole lot of brains, the Spartan mock trial team was fabulous in the finals.  They showed courtroom skills that you frankly seldom see in real trials.

             Believe, me, these kids aren’t litigators.  They are honest-to-Darrow trial lawyers.

             As the closing arguments were concluding, I wanted to count the seconds down and then race to the counsel table.  I wanted to hug the kids and pour a barrel of Gatorade on top of Buddy Bernstein.

             But the verdict wasn’t in.

             The Chief Justice excused the mock jury to deliberate.  While the Chief Justice was the trial judge, these “jurors” were the real judges of the competition.  Their “verdict” would not be for the prosecution or the defense.  It would be to name the state champions.  The Chief Justice announced there would be a short recess while the jury deliberated.  And then, the White Station team and the McCallie team shook hands and displayed the sort of civility we like to see among trial lawyers.  No one threatened to report opposing counsel to the Mock Trial Board of Professional Responsibility.

             The jury deliberated for about a half hour.  For me, it seemed like days.  But then the mock bailiff walked into the courtroom and yelled, “All rise!”  The Chief Justice took the bench and the competition judges returned to the jury box.

             The Chief Justice and jurors all gave short critiques, justifiably praising both teams.  And then the Chief Justice announced, “The winner of Tennessee State High School Mock Trial Championship is…White Station!”  And with that, I did what I’ve always wanted to do when a jury returns a verdict for my client.  I jumped up and at the top of my lungs screamed, “ALRIGHT!”

             The Chief Justice did not hold me in contempt.  That’s probably because I wasn’t the only one cheering.  The entire courtroom had erupted.  Parents were hugging parents, students were hugging students, and I had to resist the temptation of picking up Coach Buddy and carrying him out of the courtroom.

             I plan on continuing to practice law for many years.  Since the princess is only 15, I really have no choice.  And while these days I’m more of a litigator than a trial lawyer, I believe I will be sitting through many more trials in the years to come.  But I have to tell you, I don’t believe I will ever enjoy a trial more than I did the one in the case of White Station vs. McCallie.