To Kill A Chihuahua

            Ask any lawyer over the age of 50 to name his or her all-time favorite movie, and the odds are overwhelming that he or she will quickly reply, “To Kill a Mockingbird.”  Indeed, many lawyers of my generation (myself included) will tell you that they became a lawyer because they were inspired by Gregory Peck’s Academy Award-winning portrayal of Alabama lawyer Atticus Finch in this classic motion picture.

            To give you some idea of how much To Kill a Mockingbird means to me, I have a beagle.  His name?  Atticus.  (I also have a cat named Boo Radley, but that is another story.)

To Kill a Mockingbird is one of many movies that inspired me to become a lawyer.  Another is Miracle on 34th Street, the holiday classic of how young lawyer Fred Gayley saves Christmas by successfully defending Santa Claus when the State of New York tries to commit him to a psychiatric hospital.  (“KRIS KRINGLE KRAZY?  KALAMITY KRIES KIDDIES!”)

            As a child, I was also inspired by Inherit the Wind, the film recreation of the battle between Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan in the Scopes “Monkey Trial.”  I enjoyed the film immensely, even though my Southern Baptist momma (who did not believe we descended from monkeys) was so offended, we almost walked out of the Loew’s Palace right during the middle of the movie.

            But even after I grew up and became a lawyer, a number of “lawyer movies” have inspired me.  These include Absence of Malice (“Wonderful thing, suh-pee-knees!”), A Few Good Men (“You can’t handle the truth!”), and Body Heat, in which an incredible performance by a sultry Katherine Turner actually made the rule against perpetuities downright sexy.

            But there is now a new generation of lawyers.  I work with them everyday, as I have the privilege of practicing law with bright young partners and associates.

            Recently, I did my own informal survey of young lawyers to find out what movies inspired them to enter the legal profession.  This was a very scientific survey that consisted of me going around my office and talking to all the young lawyers.

            Not one of the kid lawyers I surveyed told me that they became a lawyer because they were inspired by To Kill a Mockingbird.  It is not that they hadn’t heard of To Kill a Mockingbird.  One hundred percent  of them had read the novel while in high school.  (Apparently To Kill a Mockingbird inspired not only my generation of lawyers, but my generation of English teachers.)  But few of them had ever seen the movie, and not one of them had named their dog Atticus.

            But 100% of the young lawyers I surveyed responded that, yes, they did decide to go to law school after being inspired by a movie about a heroic lawyer.  And not just one movie, but two.

            Well, hold onto your Raisinets, folks.  I am now going to announce the two motion pictures that inspired the current generation of young lawyers.  The envelope, please!

            . . . My Cousin Vinny and Legally Blonde!

            Yes, it’s move over, Atticus Finch!  Make room for Vincent Gambini and Elle Woods!

            My Cousin Vinny is a 1992 film in which Joe Pesci portrays a Yankee lawyer who comes to a small Alabama town with his fiancée (the lovely Mona Lisa Vito, portrayed by Marisa Tomei) to defend his nephew and a friend (“two utes”) in a murder trial.  The trial is presided over by Judge Herman Munster, who admonishes a leather-jacketed Cousin Vinny, “Mr. Gambini, the next time you appear in my courtroom, you will . . . wear a suit and tie.  And that suit had better be made of some sort of cloth.”

Cousin Vinny gets a new suit and wins the trial after calling Mona Lisa Vito as an expert witness on automotive mechanics.

            Legally Blonde is a 2001 film featuring Reese Witherspoon, as Elle Woods, a blonde bimbo sorority queen who attends Harvard Law School.  She is accompanied to both the classroom and the courtroom by her Chihuahua, Bruiser.

            Legally Blonde was such a popular motion picture that it has now become a Broadway musical.

            Well, I think it’s time for Hollywood to bring old geezer lawyers and young lawyers together by taking a page out of Sylvester Stallone’s playbook, and producing sequels to To Kill a Mockingbird, My Cousin Vinny, and Legally Blonde.

            Yes, I can see the trailer now:

            Or how about this?  Coming soon, the blockbuster legal thriller of all time . . . My Cousins, Vinny, Atticus and Elle! . . . Yes, the three greatest trial lawyers of all time join forces to solve the greatest legal mystery of all time as they help O.J. escape from prison and at long last, find the real killers!

            And finally, I say it’s time for the great Mel Brooks to recapture the magic of The Producers, by producing To Kill a Mockingbird – The Musical, starring Matthew Broderick as Atticus Finch and Nathan Lane as Boo Radley!

            I can’t wait for Hollywood and Broadway to bring Atticus, Vinny and Elle together.  I might even go out and buy a Chihuahua and name him Vinny.

(This is an article I wrote for the July/August 09 issue of the Memphis Lawyer.)